Let me introduce myself

This first blog is just going to be a little bit of background on me ...  

For those of you who don't know me - my name is Micaila Britto aka "Peanut/P'Nut" and I am a 7-year Marine Corps veteran! I served 1987 to 1994 when I was medically retired. I am currently working for the VA Boston Healthcare System as a program coordinator.  Additionally, I am a freelance photographer (this is where my REAL passion in life resides) and a veteran’s advocate.  Don't ask how I earned THAT nickname in boot camp because I have no clue!  

Anyway, Welcome to my blog "Peanut's Point of View".  

I was born and raised in SE MA about 25 miles south of Boston!  I am a diehard anything New England/Boston sports and LSU (I went to college there after I got out of the Marines).  

I have had the term (breast) cancer in my world my entire life! My mom was diagnosed when I was 14 months old (1971) and she passed away in 1978. And my father's sister passed away at about the same time my mom found out about hers. I have always known there is a really high percentage of me getting it. I do not carry the BRCA genes; but according to further genetic testing I do have some mutations. I have been having mammograms since I was 33 (every six months)

While I was in the Marines they discovered I was having reoccurring ovarian cysts and it was bothering me quite a bit. I had a couple surgeries to remove them and I thought I was "done with the issues" after it. In the late 90's I started to have some GYN issues again, so I went back to the VA to see what they could do for me. When I was scheduled for exploratory surgery, I was told there might be a possibility of having a hysterectomy; but that would be the worst case. Don't you know several hours later I wake up to find they had to do a total and complete abdominal on me! And the crazy thing is ... my first thought was PLEASE I HOPE THEY DIDN'T EFF UP MY TATTOOS! 

Yes, I know my priorities were not straight at the time! Needless to say, I had to have almost 4 pounds of a tumor removed so they had to do a bikini cut instead of the laparoscopic I thought they were going to do! They left my ovaries since they were in "okay" condition. In 2003, I had bilateral oophorectomy due to scar tissue compacting them and one ruptured from the cysts.

About two years ago, I found a several lumps (3 in my left and 2 in my right) and have been closely following them. Recently, I found 3 more lumps and I had biopsies done and it came back with atypical ductal hyperplasia in one and ductal carcinoma in-situ in the other.

I have decided to have bilateral mastectomy surgery, which will be performed at the VA hospital I work for on Feb 4. The Breast Surgeon and the Plastics Team are both scheduled to be there.  I have also decided I am going to just go flat and fabulous (at least for now). Most of my thought process has been more on getting through the mastectomy and fighting the Marine Corps fight - and not so much thinking about the reconstruction or lack of!  I know for most people they think I HAVE TO HAVE reconstruction because well ... women HAVE TO HAVE breasts!  I have come to the conclusion - my breast are NOT what define me ... it's my personality, my decisions, my heart and my desire which make me the person I am ... if people do not like me for who I am ... they can pound sand and walk back out the door they walk in through ... or take leap out the nearest window!  

Now, to give you some more unnecessary information about me … I am a service connected disable veteran who has PTSD with anxiety associated with it.  I do not let my PTSD control me (for the most part) but there are times it gets the best of me.  I am not going to lie over the past 3 or 4 months, I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride from hell and beyond!  Most people look at me and think I am handling all of this amazingly when in truth – I am having internal breakdowns on a daily basis; some times multiple times a day!  I have just suddenly burst into tears for no apparent reason; got angry – wicked angry; and wanted to break things!  People ask me STUPID questions constantly about my decisions, to which I have replied this is my life and I need to do what is best for me.  These people are not going to be here for me next week/month/year – I need to do what is best for my family and me!  I have an amazing little family unit!  I have two daughters (one biological and one step – but you’d never know it!) and 4 (almost 5) grandkids!  These are the reasons I am alive and kicking!  I want to live life to the fullest and be here for them in my ripe old age!  I want to live LONGER than what my mom did!  I only have 2/3 years left to do that! It’s all about the quality/quantity of life ahead of me!  I know NOTHING is promised in life but I am not going to let something else dictate my life! 

Well, I guess this is enough rambling for now … Will write more later in the week.